Without further ado, let's carry on....
If you are in a commited relationship with another woman, how does she feel about your friendships with other women? How do you deal with insecurities or issues that arise?
Charlie - I've been lucky enough to have never been with a woman who was jealous of those friendships. I'm very open about my past with those I'm comfortable with and especially anyone I've been serious about. I guess that because I'm honest about it comes as a relief . It also helps that when I'm "with someone" I'm completely with them and I make sure they know it. Friends are friends, but the person I love is exactly that, and they deserve to know it every possible moment.
Justin - Trust is a big part of that and dealing with the insecurities is tough. In my mind the only way to deal with them is to reinforce why you're with the person in the first place and just make them realize how much you love them. Cliche, but trusted and proven.
Steve - I am friends with other women and exes are among them. It's never easy and my women friends don't always make it easier. In fact, I've had to ditch friends because of it.
Scott - She is 100% fine. She trusts me and I totally trust my wife when she hangs out with her guy friends. It has to go both ways.
Will - With honesty and open (unjudged) communication there should be no jealousy or insecurities.
David - I am in a committed relationship. My wife is somewhat jealous about previous relationships with other women. Friendships are different. The implied knowledge that sex did not take place makes it easier on friendships. I deal with it by introducing friends to my wife in a public setting such as a pub where anything goes and it's a calmer environment to interact.
Mark - In the gay world, exes end up becoming great friends, but honesty still applies.
Randy - I am married and my wife is okay with it most of the time, unless there are boundaries or lines that are crossed as far as intimacy goes. She also does not like me to be someone's date. I reassure her that it's strictly friends or business relationships when it comes to the opposite sex.
Hayden - She knows who I leave with at the end of the night. It's that simple.
I say - It's important for me to introduce a significant male friend to my husband as soon as possible. He is the least jealous person I have ever met, but I think introducing them to one another removes any question as to why I haven't. Because I do this, we have no issues regarding jealousy or insecurities in our relationship. If you are keeping a friendship with someone of the opposite sex a secret from your partner, you may want to ask yourself "why?".
Have you ever entered into a relationship with the intention of an emotional/physical relationship and ended up becoming just authentically good friends? Or, do you distance yourself if you don't get what you initially intended?
Scott - I've had a situation when I was single; I thought this girl was really cute and through friendship we talked about getting into a relationship but just ended up even better friends....in a weird way it worked out better to remain friends.
Randy - Yes, I have entered into a friendship looking for a physical/emotional relationship and had to settle for the really good friend once or twice. No, I don't distance myself if it isn't what I intended. Sometimes, entering into the friendship has made me realized she isn't the one I want to date so we remain friends.
Hayden - That's a wretched way to do a relationship. Always look or friends and accidentally fall in love/sleep/adventure with then few or the one. We're not in college anymore, right?
Charlie - It happened in the past...we started dating and it didn't work out too well, so we decided to remain "just friends". Just because I didn't end up with a girlfriend or lover, I was still happy with the companionship. I think that's more important, in the long run; having a companion. Everything else that could come with that is an added perk.
Justin - I entered one friendship with a girl when there was a set time frame (she was moving away) and the interest was mutual and exclusively physical. Interestingly enough, since then we've developed an incredibly strong friendship and the physical lust is non-existant. We're both in commited relationships now, and what started as some fun let to something genuine and fantastic.
Will - This has never occurred for me.
Steve - I don't set expectations. I try and see where things go. I've been friends and tried dating and gone back to friends. Again, not easy, but possible. I would say I distanced myself to gain perspective, but then we're awesome.
David -Yes. If I didn't get what I wanted I became cold and distant....that's a temporary reaction with clears my mind from desire for sexual contact so that I can engage in a meaningful relationship.
I say - I don't manipulate people. Being straight up, I would always tell someone if my intentions were more than friendships. I enter friendships with either sex because I value what that person can add to my life. It's been easy for me to turn it into friendship if the romantic feelings were not reciprocated.
Another day of great answers from the guys. I noticed that the men involved here are all really stand-up guys who seem to have all had pretty good experiences with women. I know there are men out there that deal with tremendous jealousy and insecurity from their significant others. It would be interesting to see what they have to say.
I appreciate everyone who has been reading. The feedback has been great. We do have one more post which includes the very important questions: How can women be better friends to men and do men REALLY want to be friends with women....
PART 5
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